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City’s Comic Book Villains Meet On Top Of Bank Of America Tower To Discuss Evil Schemes, Nefarious Plots
TOP SPIRE OF DOOM — The Green Goblin, Lex Luthor, Man Ray, and Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan convened Monday morning atop the Bank of America Tower…
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Uptown Adds Third Functional Nightclub For People To Stand Around On Their Phones
UPTOWN — A new nightclub is opening this weekend in Uptown for more people to stand around on their phones, The Charlotten confirmed Friday morning. Retro Bar, a “throwback” two-level…
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Local Man Honked At For Refusing To Die Making Left Turn
UNIVERISTY CITY — A man who valued his life was honked at Thursday morning for declining to take what witnesses are calling a life-ending left turn onto University…
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Great Lake Norman Garbage Patch Now Visible From Space
LAKE NORMAN — Lake Norman’s gigantic mound of yeti coolers, rusted farm tools, coal ash, and empty White Claws is now visible from outer space, according to NASA…
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Skyline Gonna Be Chartreuse Tonight Because Fuck You
TOP FLOOR OF BANK OF AMERICA TOWER — City officials confirmed Thursday night’s skyline will glow an aggressive shade of chartreuse, citing the reason as “because fuck you,…
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Very Secure And Stable Individual Seen Driving Slingshot Around Uptown
UPTOWN — An individual of unquestionably sound mind was seen Monday afternoon driving a bright red Polaris Slingshot through Uptown while blasting music at a volume that politely…
Sunday, June 7, 2026