A Formal, Totally Sincere Apology to Our Betters At Global Tetrahedron LLC (The Onion)
CHARLOTTE — It has come to our attention that we have been accidentally "fine.". We recently received a very stern, multi-page letter from the lawyers at The Onion informing us…
Bird Pizzeria Announces New Slogan: “Fuck You, Eat Somewhere Else”
OPTIMIST PARK — Nationally renowned pizza joint Bird Pizzeria has announced a bold new slogan telling customers to generally fuck off and stop trying to eat there. “We’ve been trying…
Axios Charlotte Launches ‘Smart Brevity’ Obituaries To Help You Grieve In 30 Seconds Or Less
The Lede: 🪦 No one has time to mourn properly in this economy. That’s why Axios Charlotte is disrupting the funeral industry with a new, bulleted obituary format designed to…
“We Will Rebuild”: Huntersville Parents Hold Vigil After Twerkdale Incident
HUNTERSVILLE — Huntersville parents gathered on Sunday night to reflect and reaffirm their values following the one-week anniversary of the now-viral Birkdale Village “Twerkdale” incident. “It’s not just about what…
Local Man Just Relieved He Doesn’t Live In South Carolina
PLAZA MIDWOOD — After reading yet another headline involving alligators, a car chase, and a…
Opinion: What the Fuck Is That One Sculpture in Uptown Supposed to Be? 5 Ideas
UPTOWN — Every time I pass this thing, I have to ask myself: What the…
As Earth Explodes, Axios Charlotte Releases List of Top 10 New Breweries to Check Out
CHARLOTTE — Despite Earth’s catastrophic explosion on Wednesday, Axios Charlotte remained undeterred, publishing yet another…