NoDa — A new affordable housing project is set to break ground in NoDa this weekend, threatening the district’s identity as Charlotte’s capital of overpriced, Wiggles-colored apartments with stupid names like “Thë”.
The affordable housing development in question, which includes two buildings exclusively for low-income earners, has already drawn the ire of some local developers, who are afraid the new complex will look far too normal for NoDa’s signature ‘bad LSD trip’ look.
“If we start making housing affordable, where does it stop?” said Bryce Henderson, a developer behind three buildings named “The Lofts at NoDa.” “We can’t just throw that all away because some people want housing that doesn’t cost $2,000 a month for 400 square feet and a dog spa they’ll never use.”
Other developers argue that the development sets a bad precedent for the neighborhood, which today exploits its own artsy past to charge renters extra for random color blocks and exposed faux-wood paneling.
“Look, we’re all for affordable housing,” said spokesperson for Greystar, the real estate company that many wish would simply disappear. “But we’re on a mission to make NoDa look more and more like LazyTown every day. When you start using just one or two primary colors as part of your design, you’re ruining what makes the place so special.. and profitable. Won’t anyone think of the culture?”
Inlivian, Charlotte’s housing authority, will co-develop the project and offer residents amenities like child care, financial literacy training, and vague promises of a better future that may or may not come to fruition.
The development is expected to remain under construction for the next forty years, before ultimately being scrapped in favor of an artisanal hot dog stand.
