UPTOWN — City leaders and urban planners confirmed Tuesday that a metro area constructed almost […]
Author: The Charlotten
South End Man Getting Too Old For This Shit
SOUTH END — Standing motionless in the deafening, sweat-slicked center of Gin Mill on a […]
NYC Transplant Mourns Charlotte’s Lack Of Giant, Epilepsy-Triggering Advertisement Nexus
UPTOWN — Expressing profound disorientation following his recent relocation to North Carolina’s largest metropolitan area, […]
CMPD Chief Amazed Dystopian Flock Grid Used For Dystopian Tracking
UPTOWN — CMPD Police Chief Estella Patterson admitted she was “completely blindsided” to discover that […]
Final Trace Of Human Dignity Extinguished By Gas Pump Advertisement
STEEL CREEKE— A Steele Creek resident reportedly experienced a complete spiritual collapse Tuesday afternoon as […]
Psychopath Backs Into Parking Spot
MIDTOWN — A psychopath in a lifted Ford F-150 attempted to back into a compact […]
Wells Fargo Replaces Entire Workforce With AI Agent That Sucks Dick
CHARLOTTE — Wall Street analysts were reportedly euphoric on Wednesday after Wells Fargo announced it […]
Ripped, Shirtless Jeff Jackson Spotted Physically Choking Out Duke Energy Executive In Raleigh Courtroom
RALEIGH — A routine hearing before the North Carolina Utilities Commission descended into action cinema Thursday […]
Romare Bearden Park At Night Basically Just World 2 Grand Exchange
UPTOWN — CMPD announced Tuesday that Romare Bearden Park has officially been reclassified as an […]
Charlotte Ranks #1 In U.S. For Crippling Mental Illness
CHARLOTTE — Charlotte has been ranked as the premier destination in the United States for […]
