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Great Lake Norman Garbage Patch Now Visible From Space
LAKE NORMAN — Lake Norman’s gigantic mound of yeti coolers, rusted farm tools, coal ash, and empty White Claws is now visible from outer space, according to NASA…
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Skyline Gonna Be Chartreuse Tonight Because Fuck You
TOP FLOOR OF BANK OF AMERICA TOWER — City officials confirmed Thursday night’s skyline will glow an aggressive shade of chartreuse, citing the reason as “because fuck you,…
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Very Secure And Stable Individual Seen Driving Slingshot Around Uptown
UPTOWN — An individual of unquestionably sound mind was seen Monday afternoon driving a bright red Polaris Slingshot through Uptown while blasting music at a volume that politely…
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Concord-Padgett Airport Now Offering Direct Flights to Charlotte Douglas
CONCORD — In a move officials are calling a “major breakthrough in regional transit,” Concord-Padgett Regional Airport has announced new direct flights to Charlotte Douglas International Airport. The…
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“I Live In Charlotte,” Says Dumbass In Huntersville
HUNTERSVILLE, NC — Local dumbass Tyler McMullen, who very clearly resides in Huntersville, once again told coworkers Monday that he “lives in Charlotte,” despite overwhelming evidence to the…
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Uptown Will Soon Offer Complimentary Bulletproof Vests
UPTOWN — The city of Charlotte has announced a new initiative to install free bulletproof vest kiosks throughout Uptown. “We’re proud to be on the cutting edge of…
Wednesday, July 22, 2026