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“I Live In Charlotte,” Says Dumbass In Huntersville
HUNTERSVILLE, NC — Local dumbass Tyler McMullen, who very clearly resides in Huntersville, once again told coworkers Monday that he “lives in Charlotte,” despite overwhelming evidence to the…
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Uptown Will Soon Offer Complimentary Bulletproof Vests
UPTOWN — The city of Charlotte has announced a new initiative to install free bulletproof vest kiosks throughout Uptown. “We’re proud to be on the cutting edge of…
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Local Man On I-77 Better See Flames If He’s Been Sitting In This Shit For 35 Minutes
CHARLOTTE — After spending over 35 minutes in slow-moving traffic on I-77, local man Kyle Brenner confirmed that he “better see flames” at the end of this or…
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In My Defense, That Fake NCDMV Text Was Really Convincing
BALLANTYNE — “After officially liquidating my entire savings for what turned out to be a very convincing scam, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I had…
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“We Fucked Up”: City Quietly Uninstalls New Wells Fargo Sign
Less than a month after installing a massive Wells Fargo sign atop 550 South Tryon, city officials have already begun taking it down for the simple reason that…
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ICE Detains Iconic Uptown Statue On Suspicion Of Being “Too Foreign-Looking”
UPTOWN — ICE agents reportedly detained the mirrored statue outside the Bechtler Museum on Saturday after deeming it “suspiciously international.” Witnesses say the agents approached the towering, chrome…
Saturday, September 5, 2026