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As Charlotte Temperatures Rise, Brad Panovich Blamed For Global Warming
CHARLOTTE — Record-high temperatures soaring past 70 degrees this week have left Charlotte residents in shock, with many placing the blame squarely on Brad Panovich, the city’s trusted…
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‘I Never Doubted Bryce Young’, Says Local Man Who Doubted Bryce Young
PINEVILLE — A local Charlotte man told The Charlotten that he is “not surprised” by Bryce Young’s resurgent performance in the second half of the Panthers’ season, despite…
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Migratory Warbler Pissed That Charlotte’s Low Cost of Living Turned Out to Be a Lie
NODA – A migratory yellow-rumped warbler is pissed after realizing Charlotte’s so-called “affordable cost of living” was a total scam. Having traveled thousands of miles from Canada in…
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Huge Loser Just Paid $20 For A Shot In South End
SOUTH END — A South End man was reportedly seen paying $20 for a single shot at a bar in South End, in an event locals are calling…
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Lynx Train Will Now Incinerate All Cars Blocking Its Path, Vowing To Leave “Nothing But Ashes” In Its Wake
UPTOWN — The Charlotte Area Transit System (CATS) announced on Sunday that Charlotte’s Lynx Blue Line will soon be outfitted with thermonuclear-grade annihilation lasers to “incinerate the shit”…
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Uptown To Be Replaced By Giant, 30-Story High Pile Of Abandoned Lime Scooters
UPTOWN — The Charlotte City Council voted on Thursday to adorn the city skyline with a gargantuan, towering stack of abandoned Lime scooters, purportedly in a move to…
Tuesday, July 21, 2026