Looking for romance in the Queen City? Whether it’s thrills, overpriced cocktails, or narrowly avoiding […]
Author: William
Dude In Truck Tailgating You On I-77 Just Wants To Feel Seen
I-77 — The guy in the lifted F-150 riding your bumper, blinding you with his […]
God: Man Yelling ‘Jesus Saves’ In Uptown Ranks Among My Most Annoying Creations
UPTOWN — On Friday, God announced that, among all His creations since the dawn of […]
Thom Tillis Seen Wiping Ass With Stack Of Letters From Concerned Constituents
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what political analysts are calling “the most honest moment of his […]
Panhandler On N Tryon Knows You See Them Standing There
EVERY INTERSECTION ON N TRYON SREET — A panhandler on N Tryon Street today confirmed […]
Nissan Altima Decepticon Seen Terrorizing Charlotte Citizens, Wreaks Death And Hellfire Upon City
UPTOWN — Uptown Charlotte was thrown into chaos this morning as a Decepticon—a sentient cybernetic […]
Romare Bearden Park Ranked Among Fastest-Growing Places In The U.S For Dogs To Take A Fat Shit
UPTOWN — Romare Bearden Park has been named one of America’s fastest-growing destinations for dogs […]
Famished Prairie Schooner Caravan Reaches Gate A39 After Perilous, Three-Day Airport Trek
WEST CHARLOTTE — A beleaguered Charlotte family on Friday successfully completed a long, torturous journey […]
As Charlotte Temperatures Rise, Brad Panovich Blamed For Global Warming
CHARLOTTE — Record-high temperatures soaring past 70 degrees this week have left Charlotte residents in […]
‘I Never Doubted Bryce Young’, Says Local Man Who Doubted Bryce Young
PINEVILLE — A local Charlotte man told The Charlotten that he is “not surprised” by […]
