UPTOWN — Expressing profound disorientation following his recent relocation to North Carolina’s largest metropolitan area, […]
Category: State
CMPD Chief Amazed Dystopian Flock Grid Used For Dystopian Tracking
UPTOWN — CMPD Police Chief Estella Patterson admitted she was “completely blindsided” to discover that […]
Ripped, Shirtless Jeff Jackson Spotted Physically Choking Out Duke Energy Executive In Raleigh Courtroom
RALEIGH — A routine hearing before the North Carolina Utilities Commission descended into action cinema Thursday […]
Hornets Liquidate Entire Team For $50 Chili’s Gift Card
SPECTRUM CENTER — The Charlotte Hornets front office confirmed Monday that they are “extremely optimistic” […]
Cursed CMS Throne Patiently Awaits Next Victim
SECOND WARD — The Iron Throne for the CMS Superintendent is reportedly patiently awaiting its […]
Neese’s Liver Pudding Brick Appointed Interim Mayor of Charlotte
UPTOWN — The Charlotte City Council voted unanimously Wednesday night to appoint a raw, 16-ounce […]
City Council Does Job
UPTOWN — Charlotte City Council reportedly completed the basic responsibilities associated with its position on […]
NCDOT Solicits Community Feedback On Which Private Equity Firm Should Fuck Over Charlotte
UPTOWN — Amid ongoing controversy over proposed changes to the I-77 corridor, Charlotte City Council […]
Duke Energy CEO Asks To Borrow Your Netflix Password
UPTOWN — Duke Energy CEO Harry Sideris reportedly knocked on the front door of a […]
Pathetic Immune System Once Again Defeated By Tree Cum
EVERYWHERE — As pollen levels across the Queen City surged into the visible spectrum this […]