CONCOURSE STALINGRAD— The United Nations voted unanimously on Monday to classify the men’s restrooms at […]
Category: War
Local Man Honked At For Refusing To Die Making Left Turn
UNIVERISTY CITY — A man who valued his life was honked at Thursday morning for […]
Uptown Will Soon Offer Complimentary Bulletproof Vests
UPTOWN — The city of Charlotte has announced a new initiative to install free bulletproof […]
Local Man On I-77 Better See Flames If He’s Been Sitting In This Shit For 35 Minutes
CHARLOTTE — After spending over 35 minutes in slow-moving traffic on I-77, local man Kyle […]
Charlotte Runs Out Of Women
City officials confirmed early Thursday that Charlotte has officially run out of women. The shortage, […]
As Earth Explodes, Axios Charlotte Releases List of Top 10 New Breweries to Check Out
CHARLOTTE — Despite Earth’s catastrophic explosion on Wednesday, Axios Charlotte remained undeterred, publishing yet another […]
Nissan Altima Decepticon Seen Terrorizing Charlotte Citizens, Wreaks Death And Hellfire Upon City
UPTOWN — Uptown Charlotte was thrown into chaos this morning as a Decepticon—a sentient cybernetic […]
As Charlotte Temperatures Rise, Brad Panovich Blamed For Global Warming
CHARLOTTE — Record-high temperatures soaring past 70 degrees this week have left Charlotte residents in […]
Lynx Train Will Now Incinerate All Cars Blocking Its Path, Vowing To Leave “Nothing But Ashes” In Its Wake
UPTOWN — The Charlotte Area Transit System (CATS) announced on Sunday that Charlotte’s Lynx Blue […]