CHARLOTTE, NC — As rain continued to fall across the Queen City early Tuesday morning, local resident Travis Ledford reportedly navigated a stretch of Monroe Road using nothing but instinct, vague memories, and the tail lights of the car in front of him.
“I think the lane is somewhere between this puddle and that mailbox,” Ledford said, gripping the wheel of his 2009 Mazda3, whose defogger had failed around Albemarle Road.
Local authorities confirmed that while road striping technically exists in some areas, most paint in Charlotte becomes fully invisible once it comes into contact with moisture, darkness, or a dim thought.
“It’s not so much ‘driving’ as it is ‘vibing,’” said Ledford. “You just pick a direction and hope you’re not in a bike lane or a creek.”
The situation was reportedly made worse by the usual combination of high-beam LED truck lights, non-reflective matte asphalt, and fellow drivers who treat headlights as optional unless the horn is involved.
“Every year we budget for reflectors,” said a representative from NCDOT. “And every year we spend it all on orange barrels and that weird fake grass by the light rail.”
CMPD later confirmed they were aware of the driving conditions but explained that “Charlotte wasn’t really designed for weather or darkness.”
As of press time, Ledford was last seen pulling into a Bojangles parking lot in Fort Mill that he had mistakenly thought was his home.
