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NCDOT Solicits Community Feedback On Which Private Equity Firm Should Fuck Over Charlotte
UPTOWN — Amid ongoing controversy over proposed changes to the I-77 corridor, Charlotte City Council says it is working with NCDOT to gather community input on which multi-billion-dollar…
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Duke Energy CEO Asks To Borrow Your Netflix Password
UPTOWN — Duke Energy CEO Harry Sideris reportedly knocked on the front door of a local Dilworth residence Tuesday evening to ask if he could “borrow the Netflix…
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U.S. Adds Preferred Parking To List Of Global Terrorist Organizations
UPTOWN — The U.S. Department of State formally added the Charlotte-based company Preferred Parking to its official list of Foreign Terrorist Organizations on Monday, citing decades of “coordinated…
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Nincompoops On Pedal Pub Under False Impression Everyone Else Loving This
SOUTH END — A group of coworkers on a pedal pub crawling down N. Tryon Street was seen reveling in feelings of amusement which they mistakenly believed were…
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All Topgolf Nets To Be Removed Following Updated Building Code
STEELE CREEK — City Council on Thursday voted 11–0 to remove all Topgolf nets following sustained input from Dilworth residents, who argued the Steele Creek structures—despite being invisible…
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Pathetic Immune System Once Again Defeated By Tree Cum
EVERYWHERE — As pollen levels across the Queen City surged into the visible spectrum this week, the feeble immune systems of some Charlotteans were once again utterly decimated.…






