UPTOWN — On Friday, God announced that, among all His creations since the dawn of […]
Author: The Charlotten
Thom Tillis Seen Wiping Ass With Stack Of Letters From Concerned Constituents
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what political analysts are calling “the most honest moment of his […]
Panhandler On N Tryon Knows You See Them Standing There
EVERY INTERSECTION ON N TRYON SREET — A panhandler on N Tryon Street today confirmed […]
Nissan Altima Decepticon Seen Terrorizing Charlotte Citizens, Wreaks Death And Hellfire Upon City
UPTOWN — Uptown Charlotte was thrown into chaos this morning as a Decepticon—a sentient cybernetic […]
Romare Bearden Park Ranked Among Fastest-Growing Places In The U.S For Dogs To Take A Fat Shit
UPTOWN — Romare Bearden Park has been named one of America’s fastest-growing destinations for dogs […]
Famished Prairie Schooner Caravan Reaches Gate A39 After Perilous, Three-Day Airport Trek
WEST CHARLOTTE — A beleaguered Charlotte family on Friday successfully completed a long, torturous journey […]
As Charlotte Temperatures Rise, Brad Panovich Blamed For Global Warming
CHARLOTTE — Record-high temperatures soaring past 70 degrees this week have left Charlotte residents in […]
‘I Never Doubted Bryce Young’, Says Local Man Who Doubted Bryce Young
PINEVILLE — A local Charlotte man told The Charlotten that he is “not surprised” by […]
Migratory Warbler Pissed That Charlotte’s Low Cost of Living Turned Out to Be a Lie
NODA – A migratory yellow-rumped warbler is pissed after realizing Charlotte’s so-called “affordable cost of […]
Huge Loser Just Paid $20 For A Shot In South End
SOUTH END — A South End man was reportedly seen paying $20 for a single […]