LAKE NORMAN — Lake Norman’s gigantic mound of yeti coolers, rusted farm tools, coal ash, […]
Author: The Charlotten
Skyline Gonna Be Chartreuse Tonight Because Fuck You
TOP FLOOR OF BANK OF AMERICA TOWER — City officials confirmed Thursday night’s skyline will […]
Very Secure And Stable Individual Seen Driving Slingshot Around Uptown
UPTOWN — An individual of unquestionably sound mind was seen Monday afternoon driving a bright […]
Concord-Padgett Airport Now Offering Direct Flights to Charlotte Douglas
CONCORD — In a move officials are calling a “major breakthrough in regional transit,” Concord-Padgett […]
“I Live In Charlotte,” Says Dumbass In Huntersville
HUNTERSVILLE, NC — Local dumbass Tyler McMullen, who very clearly resides in Huntersville, once again […]
Uptown Will Soon Offer Complimentary Bulletproof Vests
UPTOWN — The city of Charlotte has announced a new initiative to install free bulletproof […]
Local Man On I-77 Better See Flames If He’s Been Sitting In This Shit For 35 Minutes
CHARLOTTE — After spending over 35 minutes in slow-moving traffic on I-77, local man Kyle […]
In My Defense, That Fake NCDMV Text Was Really Convincing
BALLANTYNE — “After officially liquidating my entire savings for what turned out to be a […]
“We Fucked Up”: City Quietly Uninstalls New Wells Fargo Sign
Less than a month after installing a massive Wells Fargo sign atop 550 South Tryon, […]
ICE Detains Iconic Uptown Statue On Suspicion Of Being “Too Foreign-Looking”
UPTOWN — ICE agents reportedly detained the mirrored statue outside the Bechtler Museum on Saturday […]