CONCORD — In a move officials are calling a “major breakthrough in regional transit,” Concord-Padgett […]
Author: The Charlotten
“I Live In Charlotte,” Says Dumbass In Huntersville
HUNTERSVILLE, NC — Local dumbass Tyler McMullen, who very clearly resides in Huntersville, once again […]
Uptown Will Soon Offer Complimentary Bulletproof Vests
UPTOWN — The city of Charlotte has announced a new initiative to install free bulletproof […]
Local Man On I-77 Better See Flames If He’s Been Sitting In This Shit For 35 Minutes
CHARLOTTE — After spending over 35 minutes in slow-moving traffic on I-77, local man Kyle […]
In My Defense, That Fake NCDMV Text Was Really Convincing
BALLANTYNE — “After officially liquidating my entire savings for what turned out to be a […]
“We Fucked Up”: City Quietly Uninstalls New Wells Fargo Sign
Less than a month after installing a massive Wells Fargo sign atop 550 South Tryon, […]
ICE Detains Iconic Uptown Statue On Suspicion Of Being “Too Foreign-Looking”
UPTOWN — ICE agents reportedly detained the mirrored statue outside the Bechtler Museum on Saturday […]
Hot Realtor Moms Now Outnumber Homes In Charlotte
CHARLOTTE — City officials confirmed Thursday that hot realtor moms are now spawning in Charlotte […]
Asshole Ruins Fourth of July With Harris Teeter Fireworks
HUNTERSVILLE — An asshole reportedly ruined an entire Fourth of July gathering Thursday night after […]
Duke Energy CEO Just Called You, Laughed, And Hung Up
As Charlotte temperatures hit record highs this week, Duke Energy executive Harry Sideris reportedly called […]